...get impatient?

Daily observation: over-anxious edition

When you come up with a fun idea for your blog, but are only allowed to do it once a day, it sucks to have to wait til the next day to do it again. Fortunately, if it's your blog, you can do whatever you want. So, FU, this is my second once-daily post. Deal with it.

...start a new feature?

Daily observation: gym edition

No matter how much testosterone there may be in the UC rec center, it's nothing that a little "Footloose" on the satellite radio can't change. I was ready for a spontaneous choreographed all-male dance party. It never came.

...get a good consolation prize?

I've got good news and I got baad news. What's the bad news? I was first out at poker. I'm sure you will be able to read all about that on Stine's blog. I went out without a definitive conflict with John sadly. My one consolation in that respect was that John went out soon after me despite his new "game plan" which I still maintain is drink more and lose to Kevin.

My real consolation came during the game. My plan was simple: lure beautiful women into your room with reruns of 2 year old tv shows. Little did I know how perfectly it would work on this night. Erin has been asking for a long time to see the pilot episode of Lost which I have on my computer. SO, she was in my room innocently watching that. Then, her pal Emily decided to join her. Keep in mind that my air conditioning was on strategically low. They both had a blanket from me that they borrowed to keep warm. I went to check on the game and when I returned, I found none other than the following scene:


My addition to the room created a spark of energy that could be felt reverberating through the three of us. The girls became so enamored with my presence that they were moved to make out. This seemed promising. Sadly, multiple things came to light simultaneously:
1. Emily has terrible kissing aim (straight up was the direction she decided Erin was in. Perhaps she had been watching Ghostbusters recently and thought Erin might be floating directly above her.

2. Emily was going for the inital closed mouth kiss to warm things up. Erin had different plans and thought she'd try the partially open mouthed route.

3. Erin may or may not have fallen asleep en route to Emily's waiting lips.

4. I had to make a snap decision whether to take a picture of the event, or play romantic music on my keyboard in hopes of proloning the moment.

I think you all see which decision I made in regard to item 4. Enjoy!

...spotlight Breighan in a blog?

Well, Breighan, who as circumstances have it looked completely stunning last night, has been a-flutter with ideas for my blog. As I saw it, I had two options. First, I could use one of her ideas for an actual blog entry. Don't get me wrong, that would be fine. SHe came up with some decent ideas. Well, maybe one...ok a half. But, I decided to go with option 2: write a blog ABOUT her ideas and speculate on the potential of each one. Actually, I use the word "ideas" in the loosest sense of the word meaning only 2.

Today's idea wasn't so much an idea as a random comment with the phrase "you should write a blog about that" following it. Thanks to an away message, Breighan realized that "Hofbrauhaus" has remarkable similarities to my last name. She recommended that I nickname my apartment the "Hoff" brauhaus. Oh, and then write a blog about it. Although that would be a short blog entry (in fact, just read the previous paragraph up to this sentence, and that would be the extent of the blog), Breighan accidentally stumbled across a decent blog entry idea. My apartment needs a nickname. Temporarily I've been calling it "the stoplight" due to its red/green/yellow color scheme. However, with nicknames such as "the fortress of solitude" and "that sketched out place Anna used to live in" floating about, I'm not sure if the stoplight cuts it. I'm happy to hear ideas!

Blog idea #2: "interview yourself." Breighan had the idea that I could create a video of me interviewing myself. Although quite innovative in a Phoebe/Ursula kinda way, it's quite a daunting task. I even thought of doing it in print form, because it is a half-way decent idea. But what would I ask myself? What don't I know about myself? I don't know how I am when I sleep. BUt I couldn't really answer that. Wait, Breighan would know!!! I should just interview her.

Well, that does it for this blog post. With any luck Breighan is still speaking to me. Please, I encourage all blog post suggestions! And come up with apartment names!!!

...have a dream about Jason?

I did. Fortunatley it was very dissimilar to the dreams I have about Erin. But that's for a different kind of blog. That blog I'd probably make you sign in for and pay $15 a month. [Note to self: have more dreams about Erin, it might be lucrative.] [further note to self: start by having one dream about Erin, then work up to more dreams. Don't get ahead of yourself.] [Final note to self: stop being indulgent with your friends' attention spans and finish your damn blog about Jason] [Reply to final note to self: Good call, sorry. I get like that sometimes. Way to call me out on that...right, sorry, the blog. Got it]

So, my dream about Jason. It was in the middle of some random stuff I don't really remember. But, it was poker night and there were two tables going. We had decided to have a bunch of smaller games instead of one big one. Jason's table was around the corner from mine. Just as my game ended, Jason walked around the corner with his arms raised triumphantly. "I won!" he proclaimed. Then some high fives ensued. It was grand. I hope that this turns out to be not just a dream but a premonition. I may have just invented third person self-actualization. With any luck, it'll work. Go Jason!

...try to go in a completely different direction?

So, if I were to characterize the last 7 years of my life in terms of fitness, I would say that it has been a constant quest with varying levels of success to run a long way really fast and to have abs that you could see through a trench coat. However, due to persistant (yet loving) nagging from Bridgett and a seemingly innocuous yet true comment from Jess, it has occured to me that I need to gain weight. This is interesting. Basically, the healthy diet that I have grown accustomed to and the largely aerobic based forms of excercise that I have gotten good at maintaining a routine of, are all of a sudden working against me. Books. That will be the solution.

Sadly, no. There are a lot of people in America that are trying to lose weight. There are even some that are succeeding. But, these numbers are far surpassed by the ammount of people writing books about how to lose weight in anywhere from 8 minutes a day to 12 weeks to "ok, so you're probably going to always be fat, don't buy this book and go get some ice cream...fatty." There are much fewer books about gaining weight. "Well, just start lifting weights" you say. "There are lots of books about that." This is true. But the majority are aimed at tubby McFries who is trying to slim down. Not Skinny McSpinach who is trying to bulk up. So, here lies my dilemma. After years of trying to remain trim, I am. And now that I am, I'm being told to bulk up. Girls like guys with some meat on them. It's not healthy to be so skinny. Perhaps it's a body image problem. Grass is always greener. So, I'm putting the word out for any suggestions on literature or specific advice on gaining weight.

Worse comes to worse, here is Breighan's mom's doctor's advice(that's Breighan...her mom...her mom's doctor) on the subject: "A lean horse for a long race." Or maybe she was just hitting on me...who knows?

...have refined taste?

So, Brian, Jess, Brett and I went to the Reds game Tuesday night. It was a perfect night for baseball and it was complemented by the fact that it was half-price ticket and dollar hot dog night. (I only had 2, I'll have you know). Also, I was happy to find out that it was hot girl in tight white pants and a fitted reds t-shirt night starring a girl a few rows in front of us.

Bretto had Brian and I playing a game that ended up making the baseball game rather interesting. Each batter we would bet a cent on what would happen: strike out, ground ball base hit, fly out, etc. Brett was really good at this game and won 13 cents.

The Reds not only won, but scored 10 runs. This entitled us (and everyone in the stadium) to 10 free wings at none other than Hooters. Many people don't believe me when I tell them that Hooters is a family restaraunt. But now I have two facts to further back this up. First of all, Brett told us all a story of Hooters down in FL where every once and a while you will encounter a woman, well into her pregnancy, continuing to work there; tight t-shirt and all. Secondly, while we were there, a karaoke contest was running and who won? A nine year old girl singing Lady Marmalade. She won $100. Fortunately she was just old enough that her singing that song and not knowing what it meant was ok (flashback to all little girls proclaiming in the late 90's "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.") She was also young enough that there was no creepy older guy oggling involved. (and if there was, it'd be REAAAAALLY creepy older guy as opposed to the normal "well, she kinda looks 18" kinda creepy older guy).



Then came the wings. The wings were served with medium spice though had distinct undertones of mild spice. The grease on the wings both dazzled the palette and teased at the throat. I think I would recommend a Miller High Life to go with them. It's oaky high-lifeyness would complement the crass yet unrefined musings of the wings. Of course, for those on a budget, Miller Lite might due. This night, however, we enjoyed a glass of Sprite, '06. This featured some lemon notes complemented perfectly with undertones of lime. The combination of the two danced on the tongue as the carbonated bubbles created an effervessant cornucopia of delight. I would recommend it with Pheasant or Taco Bell.


And that's the story...

...suddenly remember you have a blog?

First of all, I would like to thank you all for helping me reach the 2000 hit mark despite my 2 months of not posting. I will try to be better at posting. I will say that I was dissapointed at the lack of response to my final Blog your own adventure post. Needless to say, Amazon didn't offer me $100,000. Freakin' anti-semites...

This has been quite an eventful summer so far but I will spare you most of the details since, let's be serious, there are only about 8 people that read this, and I talk to all of you regularly. I will, however, direct your attention to my next blog entry showcasing my refined tastes. Though, thanks to the reverse descending chronilogical order of this page, you most likely have just finished reading it. In that case, I'm writing to you from the past....SPOOOOOKY. Michael J. Fox eat your heart out.